LEPRECHAUN
WITHDRAWS ENDORSEMENT OF OBAMA
Alleges Abuse, Announces Intention to Work with
Local Man on Tell-All
Play Detailing Experiences with Illinois Senator
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: currann03@yahoo.com or visit www.hottubbinDC.com
WASHINGTON, DC Citing a long history of abuse, a leprechaun who once
lived in Sen. Barack Obamas closet and supported his presidential candidacy
today announced that he is withdrawing his endorsement of the Illinois senator.
Rusty the Leprechaun also unveiled plans for collaboration with a local man to
write a tell-all, one-act play about his experiences in the Obama
household.
Me support for Senator Obama tis no more,
stated Rusty the Leprechaun in a high-pitched brogue. The senator abused
me somethin horrible during me days of livin in his wee closet, and
hell pay a dear price indeed for what he done when the world reads me one-act
play.
According to Rusty, Senator Obama battered him both emotionally
and physically, frequently calling the six inch-high leprechaun Lil
Honky McNugget, and once pinning him against a wall while demanding he donate
his pot of gold to Obamas campaign coffers. Rusty says he was pressured
into endorsing Obamas candidacy when the senator threatened to give an eloquent,
highly-charismatic speech on the Senate floor lampooning the leprechauns
many drunken misadventures. Rusty abruptly moved out this week after Obama came
home and blamed the frolicsome troll for his failure to secure Rev. Al Sharptons
endorsement. After that, he ridiculed me March Madness picks said
a tearful Rusty.
In response to the allegations of abuse, Sen. Obamas
office has acknowledged that there was a minor incident between the
presidential candidate and his former house-mate. An Obama spokesman claimed that
the altercation stemmed from the senators growing frustration with Rustys
decision to regularly defecate in the senators shoes during his daily drinking
sprees. Obamas office also claimed that the senator sought to help Rusty
with his very obvious drinking problem, urging him repeatedly to get counseling
after finding him floating and nearly-drowned inside a pint glass of Bulmers
Irish Cider last fall.
Rusty admits to having left a few snicker-doodles
in Obamas shoes, but noted that Sen. Obamas inexperience in national
politics prevented him from recognizing this as simply the traditional way
a leprechaun lets someone know they be supportin their candidacy for president
of the United States. The inebriated leprechaun characterized Obamas
other claims as loads of shite.
Rusty has chosen to collaborate
with Nick Curran, the author of Hot Tubbin I: Bringin It,
an intensely poignant play about an epic Capitol Hill battle over slight modifications
to wastewater infrastructure legislation.
Mr. Curran clearly knows what
the grand people of Washington be demandin so far as dramatic theater goes,
Rusty stated. Upon readin his tender, spell-bindin portrayal
of the corrupt monkey blackmailin the cocaine-lovin congress-fella,
I knew Id be up to me neck in shamrocks with him as me partner.
When asked about the new partnership, Curran said, I applaud Rusty the
Leprechaun for having the courage to tell his story, and I am honored to have
been chosen to collaborate on his one-act play. Curran says he immediately
agreed to the project when approached by Rusty, as he was completely outraged
by the report of Obamas behavior.
Critics are already anxiously
anticipating the completion of this play. Said one critic: This alliance
between Mr. Curran and an angry, drunken leprechaun will almost certainly produce
the finest one-act play in the history of Washington theater. Any critic who doesnt
recognize that is a liar or a damned fool.
www.hottubbinDC.com
## 30 ##